Why the sag face?

While the Oscars are always the main course, the Screen Actors Guild Awards are certainly a tasty appetizer. The SAG awards are particularly appealing because you get the beauty of an awards show without all of the nuts and bolts. And by nuts and bolts, I mean all of the awards are for acting, so you don't have to listen to any sound crews or cinematographers thanking their children at home "who really should be in bed, but were allowed to stay up tonight!" How nice for you. Nothing but sparkly celebrities tonight though.

I was particularly pleased to see our young and talented Dev Patel nominated for best supporting actor. I even had a slight glimmer of hope that he may walk away with it; but then I remembered Heath Ledger. A scan of Heath's award's list comes up with him having won every time he's been nominated for his role as the Joker, with the exception of the Satellite Award- which went, by some amazing twist of fate, to Michael Shannon for Revolutionary Road.

Anyway, while it wasn't the acting that made Slumdog Millionaire the great film that it was- that can be attributed to Danny Boyle's genius, and an amazing screenplay- I was glad to see SAG and BAFTA throw Dev Patel a bone. I really hope that when the smoke clears after Slumdog this young man doesn't disappear into obscurity.

Wait, there was a point to all of this...oh yes: Watch the SAG awards, if anything they'll provide a nice distraction from the crippling loneliness. Or is that just me?

It was written

Well, I finally did it: I saw Slumdog Millionaire.

Think back, for the past two months or so, of every review you read, heard on tv, or the radio. Think of everything you heard your friends, teachers, family, people on the subway, or Facebook say about it. Think of all the award nominations, the award wins, the five star reviews, and the news articles. Everything you heard, all of it, is true.

I can't write a review or anything, there are already many, but to get to the point: Slumdog Millionaire is one of the greatest films to come out in my lifetime.

My awards show has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R. My awards show has a second name, it's P-R-E-D-I-C-T-A-B-L-E...

This year's Academy Awards nominees were announced this morning.

There aren't many surprises in this year's list. They certainly gave Gran Torino the shaft; it wasn't a great movie, but I assumed that since it was Clint's last horrah they'd give him something. Viola Davis got her best supporting actress for Doubt, which I was relieved to see. And oh happiest of happy days, Kate Winslet's Golden Globe sweeping performance in Revolutionary Road is nowhere to be found on this list. Unfortunately, looking at her competitors, she seems to have a very good chance of winning best actress for The Reader. How kind of them to give Anne Hathaway a nomination, she seems like a nice young girl. I don't know what Robert Downey Jr. did in Tropic Thunder but it must have been amazing. Once again, no Michael Sheen, I was a little dissapointed. The Dark Knight got quite a few nominations, which is exciting, but no best picture or director. And Slumdog cleaned up nicely, and will...clean up even...more....nicerly at the actual ceremony. The Wrestler only got two nominations, best song not being one of them, which was strange and unfortunate. No acting nominations for Slumdog or Burn After Reading. Too many nominations for Benjamin Button. And why is the Reader up for best picture? I don't say that because I hated it, it just doesn't seem to carry the same weight as its competitors. Also, I hated it.

Now we will hold our breath until Febraury 22nd. The excitment of the anticipation is worth the price of buying a small ventilator.

Employment wanted: "I can't afford second breakfast anymore"

Dominic Monaghan keeps talking, but all I hear is "help me, nobody watches Lost anymore!"

"...the trilogy of the Lord Of The Rings films was so beloved by the fans that they're really keen to try to say thank you for the support that they gave to the Lord Of The Rings movies and possibly bring back some of those characters that they know and love."

It's like when Spielberg made Schindler's List; he thought "hey, E.T. was such a well received character, I should include him somewhere, you know, to say thank you."

Personally, I thought it was poor taste.

Now I have to buy a new laptop...

And it's all Kate Winslet's fault. Since her Golden Globe wins there have been 120 articles about her on the imdb newsfeed. So now my keyboard is broken because after the first ten articles I just started puking all over it every time I read another one.

How much do you want to bet she spends the rest of her life resenting this child?

FINALLY.

We can all rest easy.

A hilarious follow up....

Words of wisdom from Jeremy Piven.

Speculation began to surge when the Entourage star blamed his rare illness on eating too much sushi, with the play's sharp-tongued author, David Mamet, remarking, "My understanding is that he is leaving showbusiness to pursue a career as a thermometer."

Bowling for dolla dolla billz

I really hope this guy is successful in suing Michael Moore for all that he's got. But then again, it's Michael Moore, so that's like what, $100,000, and his handbook, appropriately titled: "How to over exaggerate situations, completely skew the truth, profit from other people's misfortunes, and make bad movies".

It's a pretty rare book.

I didn't know the North American Free Trade Agreement gave out awards!

Not NAFTA, BAFTA.

So the nominees for the Orange British Academy Film Awards have been announced.

I'm glad to see some acting awards in there for Slumdog Millionaire, and a few more nominations for Burn After Reading. And, Kate Winslet is nominated twice for best actress, which means she can't sweep both best actress and best supporting actress this time, significantly lowering the chances of us having to listen to her drivel on about herself more than once.

Small blessings.

Real Vampires Don't Sparkle

8 Movies The World Didn't Need From 2008

I have complied a list of eight movies made in 2008 that, had they not been made, might have made the world a better place. I am proud to say I haven't seen a single one of these movies (in its entirely at least) and my opinion comes from previews, clips, film ratings and a general sense of superiority and common sense (just try to argue for Beverly Hills Chihuahua, I dare you).

1. 10 000 BC - With a 4.9 rating* out of ten, this trainwreck can boast crummy CGI and virtually no plot. This is an obvious throwback to Apocolypto minus the acting, plot and suspense.

2. Beverly Hills Chihuahua - A whopping 2.4 rating, I don't feel I need to even try to justify whats wrong with this movie. I want to know when this ever seemed like a good idea, and the fact that it stars Piper Perabo, whom I just loved in Lost and Delirious, makes my heart break just a little bit more.

3. The House Bunny - Sadly this movie may be one of the best from this list as it at least recognizes its stupidity and doesn't seem to try to fight it. With a 5.6 rating there are worse movies out there you could see, but honestly the Elle Woods Legally Blonde motif has been overdone, can we move on please?

4. Prom Night - From the first time I saw the preview I knew nothing good can come from this, and big shock 3.7 rating. Maybe this is the cynical, modern horror movie hater in me, but this is just crap, don't waste your time, your money or your sanity.

5. The Ruins - For a modern horror this movie could do a heck of alot worse, pulling in a solid 6 rating this movie has been deemed 'decent' by most. However I still can't get over the lame plot and thus it earns a coveted position here.

6. Step Up 2: The Streets - I am so sick and tired of these dance movies, and there is no way this deserves even the 5.4 rating it has. You know what, Save The Last Dance was alright, but the replica's that it has spawned is sinful, I hope this trend will finally die out soon.

7. Twilight - I don't care what you say, nothing will convince me that this bares any resemblance to a decent film. Forget the overly generous 6 rating and scores of fans and crappy merchandise, this movie, nothing is saving this disaster. I can't wait for this trend to die as well, but with 3 more movies I feel like I will have a lot more ranting ahead of me, so we'll leave it there for now. Also, real vampires DON'T SPARKLE

8. Anaconda 3: The Offspring - I just has to add this one here, it has a 2.7 rating and I'll share with you the plot and let it speak for itself. "A mercenary-for-hire accepts a mission from a billionaire to capture a dangerous snake that could possibly help cure a terminal illness." (From IMDB) Enough Said.

*all ratings from IMDB.com and as such are at subject to change

Dr. Acula

Slow news day.

Good for nothings...

I'm pretty disappointed in this year's batch of award nominations and their complete ignorance to Michael Sheen's laudable performance as David Frost in Frost/Nixon. Especially since all of the praise is being given to Frank Langella's over-dramatized portrayal of Richard Nixon. This is especially unfortunate as this is the second time one of Sheen's better performances, the other being a convincing Tony Blair in The Queen, has been almost completely ignored.

Long story short: I was pleased to see that he has been nominated for best actor at this years British Movie Awards.

...whatever those are.

Dolphin free

This is why I love everyone.

"The Entourage Entourage star was ordered by doctors to pull out of the David Mamet David Mamet play because his mercury levels were "shockingly high" - reportedly due to eating too much sushi."

Why do stupid people say stupid things?

So apparently director extraordinaire Michael Bay put up a fuss about director actually extraordinaire McG (hey, he produces Supernatural, I'm in the man's debt) for using robots, big robots, in his new film Terminator: Salvation.

I'm completely on Michael Bay's side here. I mean, before Transformers came out, there had never been big robots on screen before. Somebody once tried to tell me that there was a whole tv series about transforming robots, and that it was even called Transformers, but I slapped him in the face and told him to never question Michael Bay's creative abilities.

If I were Michael Bay, I'd go right for the next obvious target: Brad Bird's The Iron Giant. That film was a complete rip off of Pearl Harbor.

via: /film

A surprise for the little guy

This article sums up pretty well what our good friend Imago was saying last night.

The Globes certainly deserve a tip of the hat this year for paying attention to movies to whom attention ought to be paid. They treated Slumdog and Mickey Rourke so well that I'm almost willing to forgive them for the whole Kate Winslet debacle. I was also glad to see them completely snub The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, a movie screaming "give me an award!" behind every line. Yes the makeup was well done, and yes we all love to see Cate Blancette wearing her pretty dresses; but at a run-time of 2 hours and 46 minutes, it was about 2 hours too long.

Insert line about Gran Torino making Eastwood's day

Eastwood's latest effort, Gran Torino, swept the box office this weekend, making it his most successful effort to date. I wasn't too crazy about the movie, and if anybody but Eastwood had anything to do with it, it would have been a disaster. But kudos to him on this achievement, it's certainly well deserved.

"Oh no, wait, you mean that was the guy who made Swept Away? I guess he might have had this coming ."

I couldn't really understand what Sacha Baron Cohen was saying half the time, so this joke went completely over my head. How dare a comedian make jokes about an acclaimed director like Guy Ritchie. Is acclaimed the right word?

Well the Golden Globes had to go and surprise me again, but I really didn't expect this type of surprise. Instead of handing out awards like candy to the top grossing publicly acclaimed flicks of the season, like Mamma Mia! and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, they went ahead and let Slumdog Millionaire sweep the evening, and justifiably so! It's always a nice thing to see an original film, although slightly unconventional and foreign (the usual kiss of death at the commercial American award shows), be recognized and win over more commercial, although still artistic and well made films like The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Also I couldn't help chuckle that Slumdog Millionaire has yet to début in India, and I am looking forward to the public response from the awards both here and there. The TV pics didn't come as huge surprises, although I figured Dexter was due for its nod. Although the Golden Globes are starting to turn around and recognize real artistic achievements in film, like last years win by Julian Schnabel for Le Scaphandre et le papillon (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly), I still find them a little hard to take seriously, so we'll just have to wait and see

And the winner is...

Well the winner of the Golden Globes was clearly Slumdog Millionaire (which deserves all the praise it is receiving), winning Best Original Score, Best Screenplay, Best Director and Best Picture. As well as Kate Winslet for taking home two acting awards.

But the winner of The Cinephiles little competition was myself, Gumby. I congradulate my other competitors and look forward to the next competition when the Oscars comes around.

The final scores were as follows (1 point for 1 winner chosen):

Possible Points
TV - 11
Film - 14
Total - 25

Imago
TV - 3
Film - 5
Total - 8

Cias
TV - 3
Film - 6
Total - 9

Gumby
TV - 3
Film - 8
Total - 11

And the winners of the 2009 Golden Globes in full are presented here:

Best Picture - Drama - Slumdog Millionaire.

Best Picture - Comedy or Musical - Vicky Christina Barcelona

Best Actor - Drama - Mickey Rourke

Best Actress - Drama - Kate Winslet

Best Actor - Comedy or Musical - Colin Farrell

Best Actress - Comedy or Musical - Sally Hawkins

Best Supporting Actress-Kate Winslet

Best Supporting Actor - Heath Ledger

Best Director - Danny Boyle

Best Screenplay - Slumdog Millionaire

Best Original Song - Motion Picture - The Wrestler

Best Original Score - Motion Picture - Slumdog Millionaire

Best Animated - WALL-E

Best Foreign Language Film - Waltz with Bashir

Best TV Series - Drama - Mad Men

Best TV Series - Musical or Comedy - 30 Rock

Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for TV - John Adams

Best Performance by and Actor in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for TV - Paul Giamatti

Best Performance by and Actress in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for TV - Laura Linney

Best Performance by and Actor in a TV Series - Musical or Comedy - Alec Baldwin

Best Performance by and Actress in a TV Series - Musical or Comedy - Tina Fey

Best Performance by and Actor in a TV Series - Drama - Gabriel Byrne

Best Performance by and Actress in a TV Series - Drama - Anna Paquin

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television - Tom Wilkinson

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television - Laura Dern

Congradulations to all the winners.

Unbelievable...

I can't believe James Franco didn't win best actor for The Dark Knight. This is why nobody likes the Golden Globes.


No wait...

And the Golden Globes matter because....?

Apparently the Globes merit me spending my Sunday afternoon playing guessing games. I suppose it's better than me crying alone in the corner. Yeah, you heard me.

Best Motion Picture- Drama
Slumdog Millionaire

Best Motion Picture- Musical or Comedy
Mamma Mia!

Best Actor- Drama
Sean Penn for Doubt

Best Actor- Musical or Comedy
James Franco for The Dark Knight

Best Supporting Actress
Kate Winslet for The Reader (even though it really, really, should be Viola Davis for Doubt...)

Best Director
Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire

Best Screenplay
Slumdog Millionaire

This is the part where I decide there are too many categories. So, I'll just put a list of names, and they'll be in order of how the list of nominations appears on the IMDB site.

WALL-E "Down to Earth"

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

WALL-E

Il y a longtempts que je t'aime

Dexter

30 Rock

A Raisin in the Sun...because the name is funny...

Ralph Fiennes

Catherine Keener

Alec Baldwin

Tina Fey

Michael C. Hall

January Jones

Neil Patrick Harris

Dianne Wiest

The winner will be showered with praise. The loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore. - Mr. Simpson

Disclaimer: These are not necessarily the movies or TV shows I want to win, rather what I think will win, or I blatantly guessed would win. I'm still holding out for a few, and there's a number I didn't vote for that I wouldn't be disappointed if they won.







Best Motion Picture - Drama - The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama - Meryl Streep – Doubt

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama - Mickey Rourke – The Wrestler

Best Motion Picture - Musical Or Comedy - Mamma Mia!

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comdey -Meryl Streep


Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comdey - James Franco – Pineapple Express

Best Performance by an Actress In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture - Marisa Tomei – The Wrestler

Best Performance by an Actor In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture - Heath Ledger – The Dark Knight

Best Animated Feature Film - Wall-E

Best Foreign Language Film - Waltz With Bashir (Israel)

Best Director - Motion Picture - David Fincher – The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button

Best Screenplay - Motion Picture - Slumdog Millionaire Written by Simon Beaufoy

Best Original Score - Motion Picture - The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button Composed by
Alexandre Desplat

Best Original Song - Motion Picture - "Gran Torino" – Gran Torino Music By: Clint Eastwood, Jamie Cullum, Kyle Eastwood and Michael StevensLyrics By: Jamie Cullum

Best Television Series - Drama - Dexter (SHOWTIME)

Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series - Drama - Mariska Hargitay – Law & Order

Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series - Drama - Michael C. Hall – Dexter (SHOWTIME)

Best Television Series - Musical Or Comedy - 30 Rock (NBC)

Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series - Musical Or Comedy - Tina Fey – 30 Rock (NBC)

Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series - Musical Or Comedy - Steve Carell – The Office (NBC)

Best Mini-Series Or Motion Picture Made for Television - John Adams (HBO)

Performance by an Actress In A Mini-series or Motion Picture Made for Television - Judi Dench – Cranford (PBS)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television - Kiefer Sutherland – 24 (FOX)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television - Jeremy Piven – Entourage (HBO)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television - Rachel Griffiths – Brothers & Sisters (ABC)

Gumby's Golden Globe Picks

Best Picture - Drama
-Slumdog Millionaire. I spent weeks wondering why this film was getting so much attention, though to be honest I didn't know much about it. Then I finally went to see it. Great story, great acting, great direction, it's a winner all around.

Best Picture - Comedy or Musical
-Mamma Mia did very well in the box office so I will pick that, though I loved Burn After Reading.

Best Actor - Drama
-Mickey Rourke, sorry Penn, going to have to pass up on you this time.

Best Actress - Drama
-I feel Meryl Streep deserves this one.

Best Actor - Comedy or Musical
-Brendan Gleeson though I really don't have a reason why.

Best Actress - Comedy or Musical
-Though I have not seen it, Happy-Go-Lucky has won numerous awards, so I'm going to say Sally Hawkins.

Best Supporting Actress
-Penelope Cruz, I've been informed she is amazing in Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

Best Supporting Actor
-Heath Ledger, there is no way he won't win.

Best Director
-Danny Boyle.

Best Screenplay
-I want to give this one again to Slumdog Millionaire as I was very amazed by the story and how it was all put together.

Best Original Song - Motion Picture
-Clint Eastwood, he sounds like my old chain smoking science teacher, plus it’s a good song.

Best Original Score - Motion Picture
-I like good Old Clint, and his jazzy score to Changeling was quite good, but I choose him for best Original Song, so my pick will be The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Best Animated
-WALL-E. If this doesn't win then someone has paid off a lot of people.

Best Foreign Language Film
-Waltz with Bashir seems to be getting some recognition, so I will do the same.

Now for the TV portion. I don't watch much TV, so most of the TV Series awards are going to be guesses based on knowledge gained by friends.

Best TV Series - Drama
-Alright so I have seen House M.D., but I have never watched any of the other shows before, though Dexter and Mad Men seem to have some buzz (amoungt my friends). So I'm going to give this one to Dexter.

Best TV Series - Musical or Comedy
-I haven't seen any of these shows either, guess that's what you get when you only have 3 channels. So let's say 30 Rock, it didn't win last year and Tina Fey has been quite popular this year.

Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for TV
-Let's say John Adams for this one, period pieces usually do well (I think)

Best Performance by and Actor in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for TV
-I'll give this one to Kevin Spacey, no real reason.

Best Performance by and Actress in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for TV
-How about Susan Sarandon

Best Performance by and Actor in a TV Series - Musical or Comedy
-I'll give this on to Kevin Connolly as the others have all won this category at some point before now. Share the wealth.

Best Performance by and Actress in a TV Series - Musical or Comedy
-Tine Fey won last year so my pick is Debra Messing as she is so far an 8 time loser.

Best Performance by and Actor in a TV Series - Drama
-Michael C. Hall, as Hugh Laurie has already one twice.

Best Performance by and Actress in a TV Series - Drama
-I'm starting to think all the same people get nominated for these TV Series acting awards every year. Alright Sally Field.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
-Tom Wilkinson, why not?

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

-And finally Dianne Wiest. She seems like a veteran to these shows.

Golden Globes

It's that time of the year again. No, not the Oscars, but the Golden Globes. The little brother who wishes more people paid him more attention.
So to prepare for this event The Cinephiles are going to have a little "friendly" competition and see who can pick the most winners.
Stay tuned and see which one of comes out on top.

Rick Moranis: "Honey, I hate our kids!"

Gosh, everyone's getting on the Sam Mendes train. Who keeps giving this man a camera? And why does he keep making movies about why the lives of my parents are, essentially, wasted and meaningless? If everyone were a self-centred jerk like the characters in his movies, the population decline would be so severe that the dolphins would surely overthrow us.

If you are, however, a fan of Mr. Mendes, you can get both Jarhead and Road to Perdition at 2 for $10 in your local Wal-Mart remainder bin. You'd think he'd take the hint...

The Equinox... A Journey Into the Supernatural

Also known simply as Equinox depending on what version you watch. The original version The Equinox... A Journey Into the Supernatural was a student film by Dennis Muren who to date has won 6 Oscars for visual effects for such movies as E.T., Terminator 2, and Jurassic Park.

The story revolves around 4 teenagers who decided to visit a professor at his cabin. Upon arrival they discover his cabin has been destroyed and find themselves in possession of an ancient book (though never specifically stated, it is obviously the Necronomicon). From here on the teenagers are attacked by various claymation monsters and a green giant (using some clever forced perspective). For a student film, the special effects aren't half bad, but they are far from good, very far. I particularly enjoy when the people suddenly become claymation when attacked by the monsters, a creative move, but cheesy nonetheless. So I have to give the film credit for the creativeness of it's special effects, since it was made on a budget of $6,500.

Then there is the acting, it is another story. As with most student films where you hire your friends, the performances are laughably bad. The teenagers are like Scooby and the gang, minus Scooby, and emotions, and any distinct personalities. In fact Scooby-Doo is miles above these people. We have the tall silent David, who really doesn't do much in the film, his friend Jim who provides some of the worst dialog this film has to offer, Viki who is dating Jim and provides nothing to the film except to wander off all the time and Susan who also doesn't offer much, except for the fact she doesn't appear to wear a bra for the entire film.

In case the acting and characters weren't bad enough, the dialog is here to bring it all to home. After encountering a monster Jim decides to speak his mind, "I just want you all to know... I'm scared." Good job Jim, way to be brave in front of the ladies. What makes this better is about a minute later Jim decides he will wander through the woods alone to go retrieve his camera which he dropped earlier. An old man who lives in a cave (though no one seems to think this is odd) has a similar change of heart. After telling the teenagers that he will never give them the book, he promptly tells them "I can't let you leave empty handed." and hands them the book. Now maybe the old man is just senile, and maybe Jim is as well, in fact maybe they all are. It would certainly make more sense.
At one point they spot a castle in the middle of the woods in California and the exchange of words goes as follows:

David "What's a castle doing in this area?"
Susan "What do you mean?"
David "Well who's ever heard of a castle around here?"

One would think that Susan could have figured out that castles aren't exactly native to California, but I guess that is too much to ask from her. Though David seems to be slightly aware of how slow she is since he simply repeats himself in response to her confusion.

Later David accidentally kills an old man who's body disappears along with the castle so they discuss these odd occurrences:

Jim "It's not easy to lose a castle and a dead body in one day."
David "Shut up."
Susan "It couldn't have been our imaginations."
David "Of course not."
Jim "What happened to it. You can't just walk off with a castle."
Susan "Well someone did."
David "Well let's go up and have a look, if there was a castle it would have left a mark of some kind."
Viki "How can anyone move a castle."
David "Maybe it wasn't really a castle, maybe it was just the false front of one."
Jim "Like in the movies!"

Something just bugs me about that fact that these people are actually talking seriously about the idea of someone picking up a castle and walking off with it. Also Jim finishes David's sentence much like Robin does in the old Adam West Batman series.

There is another point where they hear screams and growling from a cave so they go to investigate and find what appear to be dinosaur footprints. And being the intelligent and gullible people they are they instantly come to the conclusion that the two have to be related. Where as any normal person would first suspected a prank and only the guy from the loony bin would believe there is a monster (Note: this is long before they are actually attacked by any monster and even before the castle and the body have disappeared, so in other words nothing too out of the ordinary has occurred, but they are still willing to believe monsters roam the woods).

The other version of the film entitled Equinox is the re released version by Jack Woods (one of the writer of the squeal to the Blob). It made an attempt at fixing the plot by having a park ranger named Asmodeus be the one responsible for summoning the monsters. Though the re release removes the agonizingly slow 20+ minute opening of the original, it does not actually make the film better, and is actually more accidently laughable then the original.

All in all, this film is bad, but it is too the point where it is good because of how bad it is. The dialog is laughable, the characters have the emotions of a cardboard cut out and there are plenty of claymation monsters to cheer on. But it is a student film and everyone has to start somewhere so it get points for that.

So if you like bad monster movies, then grab some friends and enjoy. And in case you don't believe me, just check out the amazing trailer. EQUINOX!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mE1UlPPId-o

Introduction Part III: Gumby

Gumby is an engineering student who in the last few years has become obssessed with film. He blames it all on a close friend who introduced him to the world of foreign films. Since then he has started to realize the majority of people have never heard of a lot of the films he talks about. Gumby is part of his university's film group where he spearheads the the screenwriters group. He is a fan of Ingmar Bergman and Fritz Lang and dislikes film remakes.

Top Five
M
Eyes without a Face
Virgin Springs
Once Upon a Time in the West
The Vanishing

The Reader exploit’s a teenage boy, tries to convince me to sympathize with a Nazi, and receives 4 Golden Globe nominations. Go figure.

The Reader is the tragic and romantic love story of a young man, Michael Berg, who gets sick in an alleyway in post-WWII Germany. No wait, scratch that. The Reader is the story of literacy, shame, secrets, lies, Nazis, and statutory rape.

Back to our ill Michael, who is helped home by a stranger named Hanna, played capably, but not notably, by Kate Winslet. After recovering from his fever, Michael seeks out this woman in order to thank her. They soon fall into a passionate, but purely physical, relationship. Michael soon discovers that Hanna enjoys being read to, thus it becomes their new routine: Michael reads to Hanna, then they have sex. After a few months of this affair, Michael arrives at Hanna’s house one day to find that Hanna, and her belongings, are gone. Hanna’s disappearance leaves Michael’s young- roughly 15 year old-heart broken and confused. Cut to a few years later and we see Michael as a student of law who’s class project is to observe Nazi war-crime trials. Hanna becomes a part of Michael’s life again and her past is exposed as he watches her on trial, and eventually convicted to life in prison, for crimes committed while she served as a Nazi prison guard.

The film flashes between Michael then, played admirably by a young David Kross, and Michael now, played by an uncharacteristically unremarkable Ralph Fiennes. We see Michael struggle through every stage of his life with a deep secret never told, coming to terms with the history of his people, and his inability to “love” again. I use the word love very loosely here. A one point in their early relationship, Michael expresses his love to Hanna, and she returns the sentiment. I need to make it very clear that a teenage boy engaging in his fanatic need for sex is not love. And a roughly 30-something confused woman misinterpreting the attentions a young man pays her is not love. The movies greatest downfall was the attempt to label anything about Michael and Hanna’s relationship as love, in the proper sense of the word.

Essentially this film is about Michael’s secrets, Hanna’s secrets, and the consequences of the shame they feel that prevents them from revealing them. It’s about the German people struggling with a history that is all too fresh in their memory. It is about all of our struggles with the mistakes of our pasts, and the attempts to make them right in our presents. Unfortunately, the film tries to touch on all of these issues within a limited amount of time, and therefore only skims the surface of any of them; leaving the audience unsatisfied, unenlightened, and unimpressed.

If you’re literate, I would suggest trying out the book before you see the movie. And hey, if you’re illiterate, you can always try to find yourself a naïve teenager who will read it to you.

Introduction Part II: Imago

Imago is a third year Sociology and History student at the University of King's College in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Imago has always been interested in film and cinematography, but her love of films became intensified in high school when she partook in a trip to Serbia to film a documentary on the effects of the war on the children who lived through it. Since then she has worked with a local film maker in Halifax and is currently the Vice President of her Universities film makers group. Imago loves to watch classic horror films, back when they used to be psychological thrillers rather than slasher pics, and has an ongoing love affair with Bela Lugosi. Imago's taste in movies is diverse, but she generally doesn't like contemporary horror flicks, so please don't take offense if you're a fan. Imago loves movies, reading, diet coke and her ferret. She dislikes pretentious art students, cold weather and alarm clocks.

It's pronounced im-ah-go


Top Five (in no particular order):
Leon
Oldboy
The Raven
Laugh Clown Laugh
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Also subject to change on a daily basis.

Introduction Part I: Cias

Cias is a student in her second year of undergraduate study at the University of Toronto where she studies philosophy and theology. In junior high Cias watched The Royal Tenebaums and decided that she could get away with pretending to know how to appreciate movies. She has been doing this up to this day, and will continue to do this in this blog. Cias doesn't know much about movies beyond what she sees with her eyes and thinks with her brain. For this reason, her reviews will be coming from an uninformed and unexperienced mind; so please don't be offended if you thought Twilight was the film event of the year and she disagrees with you, she probably just doesn't know what she's talking about. Cias loves Catholicism, the Office, movies, sarcasm, and Oxford commas. She dislikes dogs, theatre, and Roger Ebert.

It's pronounced chai-iss.

Top Five:

The Royal Tenebaums
Apocalypse Now
The Apartment
Amadeus
Pineapple Express

...these are subject to change, all the time.